Posts Tagged ‘sobriety’
4 Things That Can Trigger a Mental Obsession with Alcohol
Obsessing about alcohol sucks. I hate the mental obsession that comes with this addiction. I loathe the clawing in my brain, the insatiable need. There are things I can do to kick off that mental obsession all over again. Some of them are obvious: I can drink, smoke pot, or toy with other socially acceptable drugs.…
Read MoreWe Don’t Need No Expectations
“Hey! Anxiety! Leave my brain alone!…” Alright, alright. Anyway. Expectations are tricky. On one hand, it’s important to have standards and boundaries. Not just important, but necessary. It turns out that standards and boundaries aren’t at all the same thing as expectations, though. I used to drive myself crazy playing out entire conversations in my…
Read MoreThe Darker Side of Sharing My Story
“Your story is powerful.” Share your story. Put yourself out there. Be authentic. Be real. None of this is necessarily wrong, but I’ve seen some downsides since I wrote about sharing your story, and it’s been on my mind lately. I write this, knowing full well it’s hypocritical as hell. It’s also purely me writing…
Read MoreA Woman of Extremes
From my private journal, May 10, 2015: “This is the first time that I felt even mildly confident that I could quit, the first time in a long time that I truly feel I’ve just had enough. I’m just done. Any other promises to quit were met with screaming voices in my head. Now, I…
Read MoreMy Journey From Shame to Sobriety
This is an excerpt from a post that I wrote for the wonderful Holl & Lane magazine in May 2017. “My journey to sobriety has been twisted, stubborn, and miraculous. Once upon a time, I could take a drink or leave it. Sometimes, I try to remember what may have flipped that switch. It’s almost…
Read More3 Ways I Focus on Solutions, Not Problems
The kids won’t go to sleep. The neighbor’s dog won’t stop barking. The HOA fees are due and I’m broke. The IRS won’t leave me alone. My child is sick. The hot water heater broke. That person won’t just do the right thing. Ugh, what a day. Mommy needs to unwind. Pop, pour, sip, gulp,…
Read MoreWhen You Miss The Anticipation of The Drink
When you quit drinking, the world doesn’t quit drinking with you. That’s the first hard lesson that I learned over 2 years ago, and it’s a lesson that I still have to remember sometimes. When I first got sober, I often missed the anticipation of the first drink. When I drank, I was always looking…
Read MoreWhat Does It Mean To “Never Question The Decision”?
Not one drink. No matter what. I’m a stubborn woman at times. Shocking, right? Well, it’s a blessing and a curse. When it comes to sobriety, it has been a blessing. I once heard somebody say that she was too stubborn to start drinking again, and it resonated with me. I made a decision, I…
Read MoreDear Self: Read This When You Want a Drink
This is a letter to myself that I wrote in March 2016 (around 10 months sober), to keep and read when I needed it. I’ve read it more than a few times since then. Dear Self, If you’re reading this, I assume you are struggling to quiet the voice in your head that says you…
Read MoreHow I Stayed Sober for The First 30 Days
May 5, 2015 was the last day I drank alcohol. I don’t always remember a lot of specifics from my recovery journey, but I do remember the first 30 days. I did a lot of things that I didn’t feel like doing in order to make it through the first 30 days of sobriety. Everything…
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