Posts Tagged ‘emotions’
4 Things That Can Trigger a Mental Obsession with Alcohol
Obsessing about alcohol sucks. I hate the mental obsession that comes with this addiction. I loathe the clawing in my brain, the insatiable need. There are things I can do to kick off that mental obsession all over again. Some of them are obvious: I can drink, smoke pot, or toy with other socially acceptable drugs.…
Read MoreWe Don’t Need No Expectations
“Hey! Anxiety! Leave my brain alone!…” Alright, alright. Anyway. Expectations are tricky. On one hand, it’s important to have standards and boundaries. Not just important, but necessary. It turns out that standards and boundaries aren’t at all the same thing as expectations, though. I used to drive myself crazy playing out entire conversations in my…
Read MoreWriting Away Anger
It’s been a tough week. I don’t even know why, to be honest. Everything is normal. Nothing crazy is happening. Maybe it’s just the season, or the heat, or whatever. I could sit here and feel sorry for myself (and I do that, plenty). It’s really tempting. Let me just sit and mull over how…
Read MoreLet’s Absolutely Insist On Enjoying Life
Recovery is not all sunshine and rainbows. But there are sunshine and rainbows. Earlier this week, I watched Remember the Titans with my daughters. It’s one of my favorite movies, and they had never seen it. I laughed and cried like it was the first time to watch it (my girls thought I was a little…
Read More“Mom, Do You Still Want to Drink Sometimes?”
“How long have you been sober, Mom?” It’s a little weird to hear that from a child’s mouth, but that’s my world now. My oldest daughter is 11 years old. She’s never seen me drunk, and doesn’t remember seeing me drink any alcohol, but she’s been affected. I don’t say this to shame or pile…
Read MoreIt’s Ok To Get Tired of Recovery – I Hope
It gets kind of old talking about recovery sometimes. I should be cured, you know? Why do I have to think about sobriety and recovery and one day at a time and let go and let God and serenity and surrender so. damn. much? Why does sobriety feel like so much sometimes? I don’t often…
Read MoreWhen You Miss The Anticipation of The Drink
When you quit drinking, the world doesn’t quit drinking with you. That’s the first hard lesson that I learned over 2 years ago, and it’s a lesson that I still have to remember sometimes. When I first got sober, I often missed the anticipation of the first drink. When I drank, I was always looking…
Read MoreI Stopped Being Grateful
The kitchen is dark except for the counter lights under the cabinets. My favorite sign is leaning against the wall on the counter, “This Kitchen Is For Dancing”. We’ve danced so many times in this kitchen. I stopped being grateful for this house. What a mistake. A ceramic angel is watching me, next to a…
Read MoreSometimes I Cry For No Reason. It’s Weird.
A picture might say a thousand words, but this picture doesn’t tell the whole story. You’d never know from this picture that just 20 minutes ago, I was sobbing into my husband’s shoulder. You wouldn’t know from this picture that about an hour ago, I was snapping at my children if they so much as…
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