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Laurie at A Girl & Tonic asked me awhile ago if I would be interested in contributing to her (Not) Drinking Diary series, and to tell the truth, I was stoked. She’s one of the first people I
stalked followed when I first started writing more publicly about sobriety. Her writing on her blog and posts on Instagram have been a source of inspiration to me for months.
Sobriety is possible, and not just abstinence from alcohol or drugs. True, peaceful living is possible. I’ve lived it. Recovery is hard, but white-knuckling through life is no way to live either. I would rather work hard at recovery. Otherwise, incidents like my near-relapse happen, and I’m not sure if I have another recovery in me. Maybe I do, maybe I don’t. I’d rather not find out. So I share my story, because I know how alone it feels when you’re in the midst of it. You’re not alone.
1.What led you to thinking differently about drinking?
My drinking caused problems in every single area of my life. When I quit in May 2015, I was recently divorced and did not have primary custody of my children. I didn’t know what to do with my life after leaving the business I co-owned with my ex, a business that was my only source of income. I was struggling in all of my relationships, broke, and I felt helpless.
No matter how much I tried to cut back or rearrange my alcohol consumption, I woke up hungover and regretful 2-3 days per week. It took a good day or two to get back to my “normal” self, just in time to feel good enough to go back. The cycle continued on and on and on.
I finally got sick of my own crap, tired of lying to myself, and tired of making excuses. I believe that God opened my eyes and helped me fully realise that I had lost enough. It was time to surrender.
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Hi! I'm Ashley, and my sobriety date is May 6, 2015. I write to share my experience, strength, and hope in recovery. On any given day, you can find me developing websites, writing, or chauffeuring kids around. Read my story...
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