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Mental Health

I’m Still Here

It’s been a few years, eh? 2020 was a doozy for everyone, and I was no exception. I’m here, I’m alive, I’m ok. Unfortunately, I don’t have the same sobriety date anymore, and I’m not sure how to address that in the “right” way except just as honestly as I can. Recovery is hard. I’ve…

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Going Quiet In A Noisy World

kids hiding from responsibility victim codependent hiding away

I’ve been off social media for about a week now. There’s nothing new or groundbreaking about taking a break from particular apps. I’ve done it a few times, many others have done it, especially during Lent or for New Year’s Resolutions and the like. This time though, it feels different somehow. I honestly don’t miss…

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Small Acts of Defiance

dark hallway depression and sobriety-min

Why get better? What’s the point? Apathy offers to numb everything for me. I crave it, I don’t want to give a shit about anything. It’s much easier to function in this world that way. If I don’t think too much about anything, I can coast without any real emotions. Emotions are unpredictable, and they…

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3 Simple Habits That Are Changing My Life

habits one day at a time

The way we build and break habits endlessly fascinates me. When I read The Power of Habit last year, something shifted. I stopped worrying that a fleeting (and sometimes not so fleeting) desire for a drink would turn into an actual drink. This book helped me to pay more attention to what my brain was…

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“A Star Is Born” Scared Me A Little Bit

a star is born Photo by Neal Preston : Warner Bros

  ******SPOILER ALERT WARNING******   Sometimes, I like to go to the movies by myself. It’s rare. Just going to the theater in the first place is pretty rare for me. It’s hard for me to sit still that long, my mind always racing to the work I should be doing, errands I should be…

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Defying The Voice

I want to write. “What’s the point?” Hush. My words matter. My story matters. Doesn’t it? You’re a narcissist. Self-absorbed. Other people don’t have to celebrate making it through life without getting drunk. Other people just deal with their problems quietly, they don’t have to bleed out all over the internet to validate themselves. Do…

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I Stopped Apologizing For Not Wearing Makeup

I won't apologize for not wearing makeup anymore

“Sorry I’m not wearing makeup, it’s been one of those days.” I’m somewhat embarrassed that it’s taken me this long to stop apologizing for my face. The last few times I apologized for wearing makeup, it was primarily to men, and I remember them looking mildly awkward about it. Not awkward that I was without…

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I Stopped Being Grateful

this kitchen is for dancing looking for gratitude in small things sobriety recovery blog

The kitchen is dark except for the counter lights under the cabinets. My favorite sign is leaning against the wall on the counter, “This Kitchen Is For Dancing”. We’ve danced so many times in this kitchen. I stopped being grateful for this house. What a mistake. A ceramic angel is watching me, next to a…

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Sometimes I Cry For No Reason. It’s Weird.

A picture might say a thousand words, but this picture doesn’t tell the whole story. You’d never know from this picture that just 20 minutes ago, I was sobbing into my husband’s shoulder. You wouldn’t know from this picture that about an hour ago, I was snapping at my children if they so much as…

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