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Health

I’m Still Here

It’s been a few years, eh? 2020 was a doozy for everyone, and I was no exception. I’m here, I’m alive, I’m ok. Unfortunately, I don’t have the same sobriety date anymore, and I’m not sure how to address that in the “right” way except just as honestly as I can. Recovery is hard. I’ve…

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Food: The Never Ending Struggle

It’s 4:26am, and my coffee tastes delicious. I’m not stoked about being awake this early, but if I must be, at least I can enjoy some good coffee. We are creatures of habit. My mornings look almost identical most days – the only difference, lately, is the time they start. Waking up at 3am and…

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Going Quiet In A Noisy World

kids hiding from responsibility victim codependent hiding away

I’ve been off social media for about a week now. There’s nothing new or groundbreaking about taking a break from particular apps. I’ve done it a few times, many others have done it, especially during Lent or for New Year’s Resolutions and the like. This time though, it feels different somehow. I honestly don’t miss…

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Raising Daughters and Turning 33

happy birthday sober birthday

I’ll be 33 years old tomorrow. When you’re an adult, the milestone birthdays are mostly decades. Your 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, and so on. The middle numbers aren’t quite as Big to most people. Last month, I had an abnormal pap smear for the first time ever. Yesterday, I had outpatient surgery to remove the culprit(s).…

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Small Acts of Defiance

dark hallway depression and sobriety-min

Why get better? What’s the point? Apathy offers to numb everything for me. I crave it, I don’t want to give a shit about anything. It’s much easier to function in this world that way. If I don’t think too much about anything, I can coast without any real emotions. Emotions are unpredictable, and they…

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3 Simple Habits That Are Changing My Life

habits one day at a time

The way we build and break habits endlessly fascinates me. When I read The Power of Habit last year, something shifted. I stopped worrying that a fleeting (and sometimes not so fleeting) desire for a drink would turn into an actual drink. This book helped me to pay more attention to what my brain was…

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“A Star Is Born” Scared Me A Little Bit

a star is born Photo by Neal Preston : Warner Bros

  ******SPOILER ALERT WARNING******   Sometimes, I like to go to the movies by myself. It’s rare. Just going to the theater in the first place is pretty rare for me. It’s hard for me to sit still that long, my mind always racing to the work I should be doing, errands I should be…

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Defying The Voice

I want to write. “What’s the point?” Hush. My words matter. My story matters. Doesn’t it? You’re a narcissist. Self-absorbed. Other people don’t have to celebrate making it through life without getting drunk. Other people just deal with their problems quietly, they don’t have to bleed out all over the internet to validate themselves. Do…

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I Ate a Salad, Have I Lost Weight Yet?

I’ve been eating pretty healthy for about a week now. Woohoo, go me! Right? Well. Here’s the thing: I haven’t lost any weight in the last 24 hours, and all of a sudden I feel like throwing in the towel over it. Me to my brain in the those moments: (via GIPHY) The allure of instant…

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